


Do Over

by Hibibun



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, implied suicide ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 06:41:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19193737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hibibun/pseuds/Hibibun
Summary: Akira tries one last time to convince him and is surprised it didn't actually end with a bullet to the head.





	Do Over

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello! i started this a year and ago when i first finished playing so please forgive me if things are less than canon compliant i'm fuzzy on a lot of things and decided quite spontaneously to finish this today. i don't know if i'll ever write a second part of this which would cover obviously how things would have continued to go different, i was just in the mood to write akeshu and specifically a conversational piece like this so i hope you find some enjoyment from it regardless!
> 
> also i'm aware that there's the age old persona protag confusion of multiple names. i personally prefer akira kurusu and used it while writing, but i added the ren amamiya tag because they're functionally similar enough.

Akira knew it was reckless, but he had hoped it would be more a danger to himself than anyone else. Futaba and Morgana had worked so hard putting together their plan, yet, there was one other option that kept nagging the bespectacled teen. There were conversations, looks, just _things_ about Goro Akechi that he couldn’t ignore even with the damning proof that he was about to betray them sitting in front of him.

It was impossible to ignore that the detective was also an actor, but there times came to mind that didn’t feel fake. It was selfish and stupid, but Akira wanted to know why. Why did Goro feel like he needed to do this? What did he gain from the other murders other than a ‘crime’ to solve as he can’t have known that the Phantom Thieves would pop up to eventually take the blame for those incidents?

He’d planned to ask that and more from the other, but the minute he meets him alone by the secluded portion of Shibuya’s train station that served as one of their former hideouts, all the words he’d planned vanish.

“What did you need? The calling card isn’t going out for another week I thought.”

Speaking has never been his strong suit, nor was subtlety.

“Why did you pretend not to know we were the Phantom Thieves?” Akira asked, adjusting his glasses.

“Truly nothing gets past you,” Goro answered a wide smile forming on his face, “What gave me away?

“Pancakes.”

The word lingered as the detective took a moment to remember just what that could be referring to. 

“You’re always surprising me Kurusu-san, but unfortunately, I don’t think I can tell you why I lied just yet,” he said as his genuine smile dipped into that fake one once more, “Unless you’ve already come here because you know why I can’t.”

Akira didn’t want to admit anything despite it being clear on the other’s face that he knew. Some perhaps naïve side of him had hoped Goro could be reasoned or bargained with. He hasn’t given up per se, but there’s little else he can think to say considering he’s already compromised the plan quite a bit just by admitting he was aware something’s off.

“I don’t actually. I don’t know why you’re doing this at all.”

The detective’s careful smile remained static and Akira was having difficulty now telling whether it was actually real or fake, as if Goro’s mouth hadn’t quite decided which it was making either.

“Think about it a little harder. I know you’re not stupid Akira.”

His fingers froze as he’d been in the midst of fiddling with the front of his bangs out of nervous habit. That was the first time he’s heard the other use his first name and he wished it wasn’t filled with so much _malice_.

“You… aren’t on our side are you? Not really anyway,” he answered, but that part was obvious. It didn’t really explain anything. He’d thought—no, hoped—different though. As if some part of Goro had wanted to be with them, but simply couldn’t for some reason. The truth that maybe he didn’t want to and that his hatred towards them was actually sincere seemed to blindside Akira and he kind of hated himself for thinking otherwise.

“You know what’s going to happen to us, but what’s going to happen to you?” Akira pushed, desperate to get his point across even if it was obvious now more than ever that his feelings were always stronger than the one standing in front of him.

“I’ll finish the job, take the credit and then… well, I’ll deliver the comeuppance I’ve been striving for,” Goro replied vaguely and it took Akira a moment to parse what he meant. The whole thing struck him as odd though. His words didn’t sound as confident as they usually did and he was left wondering if that was really what the detective wanted. Even more so, it didn’t answer the original question in the slightest as it left Goro’s fate more ambiguous than ever.

“If we both want to tear things down, why are you so against joining us? We could help you,” Akira reasoned, selfishly adding, “I want to help you.”

Goro’s eyes narrowed dangerously as he stepped closer. Akira unintentionally backed up until he felt the bar of the railing dig into his back, suddenly aware of how close he is to the edge.

“Someone like you or your little friends could never understand. I don’t care if we want the same things. I don’t even care if what you’re all doing actually is helping society or not. In the end, I just want to see that man fall from grace by my own hands, and _nothing_ , will take that away from me,” Goro seethed, as he placed a carefully gloved hand to the other’s chest.

“You can’t help me and more than that I would never want attic trash like you to even try.”

He punctuated his point by grabbing tight the folded label of Akira’s uniform, but his hands didn’t push one way or the other. Akira was expecting it though and braced for the fall, surprised when it didn’t come. Quite frankly, it was the only thing that gave him the courage to keep talking.

“What makes you think he doesn’t already know what you’re planning to do? You’re not exactly subtle, Akechi,” Akira said, a bemused expression on his face despite the situation at hand, “You’re dead no matter what you do. Just like me.”

Just slightly, the grip the detective had on his jacket loosened and he could tell his words were affecting the other’s resolve. Despite this, Goro continued on as if he still had every intention of pushing him.

“If you know what I’m intending to do, your little friends must be trying to stop me. Considering I could end things now, you might as well tell me what it is they plan on doing.”

“That’s the thing Akechi, we don’t have a plan. You’re going to betray us, and I’m the one who will take the fall,” He bluffed, interested at this point in seeing if anything he has to say will convince him.  

“So you came here to try and stop me now? That’s pretty stupid—and pathetic,” Goro chuckled, no humor actually present in his laugh.

“No, I mostly just wanted to know why; and to be honest, you still haven’t really told me,” Akira explained and the detective hated the way his expression made his words seem almost believable. Before he could open his mouth to tear apart Akira’s words, the other broke his rhythm with a question so quiet it took him a minute to process it.

“Were we ever friends?”

Goro could admit, he had wanted that. Somewhere in between his attempts to spy on them and the times they actually spent time together, he and Akira had felt like friends. Yet, that line was so blurry at times as well. With the amount of connections the other had, why would he ever take the time to actually think of the detective in that manner? Someone like him already had everything he could ever want, even with a permanently damaged reputation and a less than pleasant living situation.

He would never have any of those things no matter how hard he tried. His reputation was built on a stack of lies that would come tumbling down the moment he let go of the trigger as he publicly destroyed his father’s life. Then where would he be? Likely dead or soon to be dead, but he told himself such an outcome was worth it. He had nothing before this and even if he had nothing afterwards, what did it matter? The last thing he could do with his life was at least ease his resentment.  

Even after losing everything, Akira had more than him, but there’s something rotten and painfully sweet that even with everything he has that he still would want someone like Goro.

“And here I was calling you my equal, but you’re stupider than I thought,” Goro eventually replied, voice tight with bitterness and a dash of fear. He hated that his words were only met with a smile. As if everything he just said was seen through in an instant because truthfully, he knew for as idiotic and thoughtless Akira was when it came to taking a risk, he was anything but a moron.

“Is it really so hard to believe me? They wouldn’t hate you for wanting to seek revenge. That’s what the Phantom Thieves do,” Akira tried again figuring one last time couldn’t hurt. The detective hunched his shoulders, his grip on the other’s lapel losing all of its hold. It was supposed to feel satisfying taking their little group down and killing Akira with them, but suddenly he couldn’t find it in him. However briefly, he had entertained the notion that this all was a trap, but of course Akira is stupidly earnest and even more foolishly optimistic.

“They’ll never accept what I’ve done. Even if they feel the same way about him, I…” He started, before Akira cut him off.

“I can’t promise you that, nor can I say whether they’d forgive you, but I didn’t feel right just letting this happen without talking to you. There’s no reason you can’t start changing now, it’s not too late,” Akira said as his own hand moved to delicately unwind Goro’s from his jacket.

“What would you even tell them? Would they believe you?”

“I’d say you had a change of heart,” Akira joked, his eyes giving away how much he wanted to make the mood lighter. Goro couldn’t help the laughter it drew out of him and violently he has the urge to intertwine their fingers while his hand was still being held.

“It’s not like I can change things now. I guess I couldn’t kill you after all,” he replied instead, drawing his hand away entirely. Goro watched the way the other’s mouth twitches up into a smile and when he opened it to answer, he can tell this time it is with complete sincerity.

“I’m touched.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not sure if i'm satisfied with this ending, but that's because it didn't really want to end! if i look it over later and utterly despise it maybe i'll edit it, but for now thank you for reading!


End file.
